The Adventures of Haytham and Snowball
by madameHunterr
Summary: A mini-series about the Templar Grand Master having to watch over a troublesome little kitten, who fancies attacking him for no apparent reason and gets him into all sorts of trouble. [WARNING: This is NOT an innocent mini-series. There is swearing and vile content in some chapters.]


**Author's Note: So this was requested by IkhandoZatman way back in 2013. I'm rewriting it, as I have been with my fics before writing new ones.**

 **It will become a small series and I will be taking requests, as long as you give me enough detail to go with.**

 **Miyoni** **is a kitten from a fic I wrote years ago called 'She Belongs With Me'. It will be rewritten and the name will be changing to 'Vengeance'. Miyoni's name has changed to Snowball.**

 **The** **kitten has crystal-like, blue eyes. She's** ** _extremely_** **fluffy due to Natalia's love and care, and has white fur with rather** **light grey stripes...she's like a mini white tiger :D**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

It was supposed to be a day spent together: meaning Natalia and Haytham, _not_ Haytham and Natalia's kitten, Snowball.

A couple of her friends wanted to go shopping and she opted to do that instead of staying home. She rarely got to go out, having to study as per Haytham's request, so she didn't want to miss her few hours of study-free time being stuck in the house.

"Take your feline with you," Haytham told her, "You're lucky I've allowed her to live with us."

"I can't take her with me! We're going shopping. Besides, you've nothing better to do today, so just...look after her, please?" Natalia asked him.

He stayed silent for a few seconds before sighing, "The things I do for you..."

"Make sure she's well fed and has enough water. She likes a small cup of milk before her nap, so don't forget to give her that beforehand. Play with her for a sufficient amount of time and when she needs to scratch, take her outside in the yard. She gets scared easily so _please_ don't scare her." she gave instructions as if the cat were a child, "Oh, and one more thing, she has a habit of randomly clawing, so be careful!"

"I know she does!" Haytham exclaimed, showing the four little lines on the top of his hand, "All that for a small cat...when will you be back?" he asked Natalia.

"I don't know, bye!" she answered hastily before slamming the door shut.

The sound of the door closing so harshly startled Snowball and resulted in her scratching Haytham's already scratched hand.

"You little shit!"

Snowball 'meowed' sweetly.

"I can't believe I'm stuck home with you...I wanted to try to develop our relationship further, but her friends are more important." he complained, "But she is young and I suppose there will always be other chances...but, I'm not exactly in my 'prime', anymore."

Haytham made his way upstairs to the bedroom, lying down for a nap. It became clear that Snowball had followed him, because he watched the other side of the bed as she clawed her way up onto the bed with him.

"You're ruining the covers, you evil fluff ball." he berated the kitten.

Snowball strutted her way over to Haytham, lying down and curling into a ball by his neck. He groaned, but accepted it for the time being, closing his eyes. But to no avail could he get a decent nap with Snowball's tail brushing against his face and tickling him every few minutes.

"Damn it, cat!" he complained.

Snowball purred in response.

"You know, you are cute...and rather soft. But, you've proven yourself to be more annoying than those idiot Redcoats."

Snowball didn't care. She turned to look at him for a couple seconds before returning to her comfortable position, her tail brushing against Haytham's face once more.

"Oh, no you don't!"

She 'meowed' and purred, swishing her tail again.

Haytham wiped his face from the tickles, "Fine. You stay here and I will find elsewhere to rest." he told the feline and went back downstairs, lying down on the sofa. It was peaceful for a few moments and he began to drift off into sleep. That was until Snowball jumped on to his chest, curling up into a ball.

"Good God..." he said, startled.

Him startling her brought only grief to him as she clawed his chest, taking the stance to fight him, paw in the air.

"I could kill you in an instant," he told her, "I wouldn't try fighting me if I were you."

He got a smack on his cheek from the little puffball.

"Agh!" he said, holding his cheek, "You're just an evil little thing, aren't you? Go away! Shoo!"

Snowball 'meowed' in response, resting her paw back down as she stood on his chest.

"Make yourself comfortable and go the _hell_ to sleep, then." he spoke, covering his eyes to block out the light.

He felt her plumping up his clothing, the thoughts of the damage she was causing tormenting him, but he wanted to rest more than anything else. He got perhaps thirty minutes of a good nap before he was woken up by Snowball's tail brushing against his nose once again.

"You sneaky little...maybe you need to eat and have your milk." he told the kitten and she stayed silent, watching him, "Shoo."

She kept watching him, tail waving back and forth behind her.

"Very well, let's go." he said, picking her up and taking her to the kitchen area, placing her on the counter top while he lit a fire in the hearthto boil water for some tea. He got her some food and milk, resting it next to her and she began to eat.

When his tea was ready, he moved the kitten and her food over to the dining room. He himself moved to the living room, sitting down and taking a sip of his hot tea, a relaxing sigh escaping his lips.

This gave him several moments to himself without the cat constantly craving his attention. But only those several moments. He watched the little fluffball make her way over to him, jumping into his lap and curling up into a ball.

He chuckled, "You are rather adorable."

Snowball purred as she began to relax more. He placed a hand on the kitten to pet her, but that resulted in her giving him yet another scratch mark on his other unharmed hand.

"Fuck!" he hissed in pain.

Snowball purred, lifting her body up as she rubbed against his stomach.

"You must be touched in the head." he told the feline. He remembered what Natalia has said about taking care of Snowball, "Do you want to go outside, you little f—evil thing?" he asked her.

He got no response, except for a swish of her tail.

" _Out. Side._ " he spoke slowly and clearly, getting a 'meow' in response.

"Good. I could use some fresh air."

He picked up his cup of tea and Snowball, putting her to hang over his arm and took her to the backyard, bending over to let her down. He sat on the intricate bench that Natalia bought—with his money, of course—for when Snowball was outside. She would sit and read while having her cup of tea, much like Haytham was doing at the moment. He watched the feline as she explored the fenced off area as if she'd never been out here before.

He finished his cup of tea, completely relaxed and tilted his head up, being brought to ease even more so and eventually, fell asleep. He wasn't sure how long he was asleep for, all he knew was the searing pain from Snowball's claws digging into his neck.

"Jesus of Mary and Joseph!" he hissed, "That's it!"

The kitten 'meowed' and purred as she usually did after clawing him. It must have been a response of satisfaction.

"No! No more 'meowing'! No more interruptions! No more anything!"

He picked up Snowball, making sure he had a good grip on her as she began wiggling and 'meowing'in his grasp. He brought her upstairs with him, placing her on Natalia's side of the bed, " _Stay. Here._ " he spoke to the kitten, pointing a finger at her, " _Do. Not. Move._ "

He took Natalia's pillow to bar off Snowball from harassing him any further. "I do not wish to have children." he mumbled into the pillow, "They're a complete pain in the ass."

Snowball began clawing at the pillow, trying to get to Haytham.

"Go away." he mumbled into the pillow, but she wouldn't stop. Eventually, he lifted the pillow up to look at the kitten, "I've had it with you." he spoke to her. Snowball looked at him in a way that made him feel rather awful for speaking to her as he did. "Don't look at me like that." he told her.

Her gaze didn't falter.

"Stop it." he ordered her, but she didn't stop, "Please, I'm old..."

Snowball 'meowed' at him, taking a step toward him.

"Don't you fucking dare, cat." he told her as she continued to move closer to him, curling up by him neck once more, her tail tucked underneath her, "Damn it..." he cursed, picking up a toy Natalia had made for Snowball, tickling her with it for a moment before resting his arm down, toy in hand.

He eventually fell asleep and so did Snowball, until Natalia returned home, giggling at what was before her eyes.

"I knew you two would get along eventually." she told Haytham, lying down on the other side of the bed, looking at Snowball, who remained curled up by Haytham, despite Natalia coming back home.

"Yes, we got along very well, as you can tell by the various scratches I've received." Haytham replied in a sarcastic tone.

Natalia smiled, "I'm never letting this go."

Haytham peered his eyes at her, "Don't you dare, woman."

* * *

 **And that marks the beginning of this miniseries :)**

≺) [ṃȧƌạṁeḤuɲʈǝrr]


End file.
